Thursday 27 August 2009

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

(from EHarmony)

Maybe they'll think you're a phony, that you use your altruism to get others indebted to you so they'll then owe you a favour. Or perhaps they'll accuse you, directly or behind your back, of focusing on the needs of others so no one ever focuses on your foibles or your genuine wounds.

Those who live in their emotions may feel you tend to "live in your head" while those who go through life as an emotional rock may feel that you are a bit too "touchy feely" for their approach.

Here's another word of caution. You've been at this warm and open way of relating for a while, but for some people it's a brand new experience. They may be protecting something inside themselves, some fear or guilt or shame, or some private part of their story that they're not yet ready to share. Your openness might threaten them, and they'll take a step back and be reluctant the next time to engage you in the kind of exchange you find so easy and satisfying but they find so dangerous.


Let's be frank - it's not always easy to work with someone like you. Almost any group effort requires a certain amount of common understanding about where everyone is headed and what the plan is to get there. But with you on board, there is always the chance that you'll change the schedule, find an alternative route, or come up with a perfect argument for doing things in a completely different sequence than was planned. And that can drive some people to distraction. If that is often the case, if you find that your friends and colleagues live with a chronic sense of frustration with you; you may want to recalibrate your way of doing things when you work with them. Understand that we aren't suggesting that you change your ability to tap into your creativity or even your impulsiveness. Rather we are suggesting you consider if you can stay in tune with your ingenuity in ways that will not frustrate others desire to stay on schedule and to follow predefined courses of action.

Many people are content with the ideas that have served them and their culture well, and with visions they've grown accustomed to of what is and is not true. They're not lit up at the prospect of moving out of their comfort zone. Others are afraid of new ways of thinking and creative ways of solving problems because they are somewhat fragile in the sense that they have trouble maintaining serenity in their current worlds and don't want someone, like you, for instance, pushing out the edges of their intellectual and cultural cosmos. So don't be surprised if your unconventional ideas sometimes get you criticized, or if some people walk away from the explorations of new territories of the mind that you find so exhilarating.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The article is saying that you (and I)change those idiosyncratic NP ways Glaucus! HA! We are told we must tailor ourselves to fit the SJ/SP mould! How true...typical conformist crap. We NP's are forever aliens who look like humans but never allowed to truly assimilate....And don't want to.

Perseus said...

It is just outright bullying ESTJ.